Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day, a day of delusion that one’s value comes from another. It can be a day of pressure to meet idealized and commercialized expectations. People say it is a depressing day, a stupid day, and a hated day. It does bring on anxiety and depression for many.

Anxiety and Depression

Any anxious feelings we experience about this are self-generated perceptions. We can chase that sense of appreciation outside ourselves for a lifetime. Another option is to slow-down, to take the pause to look and allow what is “to be.”

Anxiety is a distraction spurred by fear. It allows us to avoid facing who we really are. It is rooted in failure to accept what does not seem right or good in ourselves or in our lives. We reject ourselves first in anticipation of rejection by others.  We self-criticize and sabotage possibilities through judgmental non-allowance.


Feeling worthy is something that many of us have been conditioned to experience through performance.  This is backwards.  A sense of internal self-value is necessary to connect in a healthy way with others.

Of course, we would rather not look at our rejected aspects. Self-compassion encourages kindness to self so that you have experiential kindness to share. Paying attention to what is going on inside requires that we stop trying to run away from ourselves.

Facing fears is essential to the difficult work of change. Take comfort in the knowledge that we will make mistakes even when we do our best.  We are human and all very connected in this commonality.

Willingness to proceed, possibly fearfully, undermines the need to self-handicap. It pulls the rug out from under procrastination. Our recognition of inevitable failures takes away the sting and dismantles our incessant attempts to save face when we do fail.

Be your own Valentine!  Appreciate you, your life and allow that love to shine out so others can see their own value reflected.





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