Accepting Feelings
It is part of our culture to fight what we do not want. I have learned that this constant struggle against what is wastes our precious energy. I am no martial artist, but do possess the rudimentary understanding of being aware to avoid blows. Feelings can be really uncomfortable and we might naturally take action to avoid these yucky sensations through escapism, stuffing those feelings away, or denying that they exist.
An alternative is to let them be what they are without reacting to them fiercely. When intense sensations rooted in fear/anxiety/regret arise, just recognize that they have arrived once again. It is unrealistic to believe that these feelings are not going to happen.The difference can be that instead of getting bogged down in the unpleasantness, you can choose to use your energy in a self-supportive manner.
You do not need to make those feelings go away, you do not even need to struggle. Find the courage to face feelings are meant to be felt, listen to what they are telling you, and then let them go.
Facing the feeling and letting go is tricky. Start by accepting that the feeling is there, even if you do not like it at all. In the midst of anxiety or downturn in mood, ride the feeling like a wave that you know will pass.
Even when we feel terrible, we can still love on our pets, get outside, talk with a friend or family member about what is going on in their lives, start something we like doing, exercise, help someone, or get a chore done. The spell will pass (they do seem like malicious spells cast from darkness), note what could have been the source: unmet expectations, bad news, sleep deprivation, lack of exercise, poor eating habits, substance abuse, relational conflicts, or any combination of triggers.
Making the decision to take action to tolerate rather than avoid reality is a skill that serves to increase our ability to live with compassion and grace.
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August 12, 2017
